Talked to my friend again. I hope this isn't something I like, shouldn't be sharing on the internet, but I guess my hope is that you guys, and maybe my friend, if he reads this someday will know my heart on the issue, and you guys, as brothers and sisters in Christ, are joining me in prayer.
We had another interesting conversation today. I asked him about how he keeps saying he's a terrible person but he's not really ready to make a change? And he said he has fun, but on the other hand he wants to change before it's too late. It's interesting to me the battle going on here.
Sin holds so tight to a person. It's so hard for a person to walk away from a habit, from a sin that seems so desirable. But on the other hand he knows what he needs to do. He just hasn't done it yet. And I asked what's too late? And he told me Jesus' return...or I die, which the way I live could be soon. That's sad to me. I can't imagine not having the assurance that if I died, I would go to Heaven. What a scary thing.
He's so close to wanting to find GOd, and yet so far at the same time. I know he has to be struggling, and it's really sad. He's fighting with God, and I have to hope that he lets God win.
But when is too late? I guess to my way of thinking, now is too late...Who knows what the next moment will bring?
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Be Still and Know That I am God
Be Still and Know that I AM God.
How often do we really take time to be still? How often do we even really take time to acknowledge God? I know I don't do it nearly as often as I should. But the part that's really striking me tonight is the part that I think maybe we miss more often, even, than being still. I think we miss KNOWING that God is God.
How comforting is it that God tells us we can KNOW He is God? How comforting that we don't have to think or believe, or hope, or feel, we can KNOW, beyond the shadow of a doubt. God is. He is Alpha, Omega, Beginning and End.
I think often times we put God in a box. I think, to a certain we can't really help it, because we are finite people trying to understand an infinite God. Even so, we have a tendency, I think, to forget that God is God. We box Him in with our circumstances, we forget that He stays the same, regardless of where we are in life. We think, because we feel hopeless, that God is hopeless, or a lost cause, instead of realizing that He is our ONLY hope, our ONLY cause, regardless of where we are in life.
SO I guess today, I'd just encourage you to take a moment and remind yourself that God IS God, regardless of anything else in life. He is God.
How often do we really take time to be still? How often do we even really take time to acknowledge God? I know I don't do it nearly as often as I should. But the part that's really striking me tonight is the part that I think maybe we miss more often, even, than being still. I think we miss KNOWING that God is God.
How comforting is it that God tells us we can KNOW He is God? How comforting that we don't have to think or believe, or hope, or feel, we can KNOW, beyond the shadow of a doubt. God is. He is Alpha, Omega, Beginning and End.
I think often times we put God in a box. I think, to a certain we can't really help it, because we are finite people trying to understand an infinite God. Even so, we have a tendency, I think, to forget that God is God. We box Him in with our circumstances, we forget that He stays the same, regardless of where we are in life. We think, because we feel hopeless, that God is hopeless, or a lost cause, instead of realizing that He is our ONLY hope, our ONLY cause, regardless of where we are in life.
SO I guess today, I'd just encourage you to take a moment and remind yourself that God IS God, regardless of anything else in life. He is God.
Sunday, October 24, 2010
PS
This is like, my song for my friends.
I love Tenth Avenue North. I'm finding that they have a lot of music that puts words to exactly all the things that I feel and think, about life, about God, about people. I'd encourage you to check them out. This is just one of the numerous good songs. =]
I love Tenth Avenue North. I'm finding that they have a lot of music that puts words to exactly all the things that I feel and think, about life, about God, about people. I'd encourage you to check them out. This is just one of the numerous good songs. =]
I Love Sundays...
True story. Sundays and Wednesdays. Two favorite days of the week. Although admittedly, I love Fridays and Saturdays, too. ;] But Sundays and Wednesdays are like, my two check points in the week, two days that I KNOW I'll have time to spend in the Word, with God, and with His People. It's a time for me to evaluate myself and my life and my intentions in prayer, like our pastor has been talking about.
Pastor Tim has been doing this incredible series on prayer, on the power of prayer and the heart of a believer. He's been talking about how God is faithful to hear the prayers of the believer, and that we ought to pray always, without fainting or growing weary, and we talked about the parable of the Persistent Widow today, in Luke 19, and how if the unjust judge will listen to persistence, how much more so will God, who is just, and who does care. It's been really cool to me, but he's been talking too, about the heart of the believer, and the intentions of the believer. Do we pray to God like He's just a magic genie so He can grant our wish, or do we pray with a genuine heart and concern for HIS will, with the knowledge and peace that HE knows better, that He will answer as HE sees fit? Do we pray earnestly "Not my will, but Thine, oh God?" That's been hitting me hard. I don't pray nearly as often as I should, considering what a privilege it is. Considering the image of us entering the Throne Room of God, it's sorta humbling. When I approach Him, do I do so with the correct amount of awe and fear, in addition to the love and trust? Do I acknowledge ALL parts of Him, the part that is God of the Universe, Who hung the stars in the sky, in addition to the friend and the father who picks me up when I fall? And when I pray, do I really give it over to God and ask Him to do with it as He will, or do I ask him to do with it as I will? It's just been a really interesting study on prayer. I've been loving it.
I've been so awed by the community of believers I've found here. It's something I've never had before, at least not to this extent, and ESPECIALLY not of kids my age. It's been cool to realize that I'm not the only teenager in the world striving to live for God and follow His will for my life. It's freeing in a lot of ways because I finally feel like there's a community of people who will be there for me and pick me up when I fall. It's just been so amazing, and such a blessing, and I hope and pray that I'm a blessing to that community the way they are to me.
I was seeing today, too, one of the kids from my youth group. We were singing...well, I'd never heard it before, but this kid from my youth group had a hand up in praise. Normally this is something I'd consider really "charismatic" but I guess I'm kind of getting used to it, and it was cool to me, because I felt like this kid was so genuine, so given over to his faith. It was just cool to me and kind of awe inspiring, and I realized how attractive that is, to see faith in a person. I don't even particularly like this kid, I mean, I love him to bits, but I don't like like him, you know what I'm saying? But it was just super attractive to realize how genuine he is about his faith. I feel like we are so lacking this day in age in teen disciples of Christ, and especially of Christian guys who are willing to lead a Christian family, who are striving after God. It seems like I may even have read somewhere at some point, in Salvo magazine, maybe, that there genuinely ARE less guys living for the Lord than girls. Maybe I'm making that up, so don't quote me, but I'm PRETTY sure I'm not just pulling that outta my hat. ;] lol.
And I've been thinking about and realizing how peaceful I am with where I am in my life. God is pressing it upon my heart today that I am thankful. Which I guess it is the season. =] But I'm thankful for all the people I've been meeting, through school and through church, and I'm thankful for friends, and I'm thankful for my sister and brother in law for letting me live with them, and I am SO thankful for parents who were listening to God and who were willing to let me go when He told them to, even though I don't think it was particularly what any of us expected or wanted at the time. It was right, though. God knew what He was doing. I feel like even my worst days here are so much better than the normal days in Wibaux. I'm not gonna say the worst days here are better than the best days in Wibaux, because I had good days in Wibaux, and I have fond memories, and that is what I will hold on to. The good memories I have of the place and of the people and there will always be an attachment.
It's sort of weird, because a year ago, if you asked me where I'd be in fifteen years, there wouldn't have been any hesitation. "I'll be back in Wibaux, working the farm and my horse business, whatever that might be." And then there was the phase when I started to realize that maybe God wasn't going to put me back in Wibaux, and it was kind of devastating and terrifying. It was something I'd been so sure of all my life. The first few years outta high school were going to be turbulent and crazy and I had no idea where I was going to be, but the end result was always back in Wibaux. Now....well, I don't think that's the case. At this point in time, I don't think God wants me back in Wibaux. And I'm okay with that. In fact, I don't particularly even wanna go back! Of course, if that's where God calls me, that is where I will go. Hopefully with no hesitation. But at this point, I really don't think that's where God wants me. I don't know where He IS going to send me, at this point, and like I said, maybe He WILL send me back to Wibaux, but I don't think so. And if He does, I will be okay with it, because I've seen God's faithfulness in my life. I've seen His hand of guidance and I've felt His presence, and I've seen how God works ALL things for the good of them that love him and are called according to His purpose. (Romans 8:28) I know that wherever God sends me, even if it's hard, it's going to be something wonderful, and more than I ever could have expected or imagined for myself. Like the move to Dickinson. Terrifying, hard, seemingly impossible, but in the end, right, and wonderful, and I know part of that wonder is simply in being where God wanted me to be. It's being inside His will, resting peacefully in the palm of His hand, instead of beating against His fingers trying to get Him to let me go, which of course, He never will, because He's God.
That's sort of an interesting picture, isn't it? Imagine with me for a second...God holds us in the palm of His hand, yes? And we who believe in security of the believer believe He never ever lets us go once He's holding us. But picture then, said believer, beating against the hand of God, trying to get outside of God's will, and do things his way, because, as humans, we always think OUR way is better, yes? Isn't that a funny picture? But that's essentially what we do when we try to deny God and do it our way, instead of just doing as God has told us to. I hope that makes as much sense to you as it did to me. It sort of exemplifies the silliness of trying to do our thing instead of just sitting back and letting God do His.
This has been a novel, and I promise that I'm wrapping it up, but I just have one more thing. You know the boy I've been telling ya'll about in past blogs? Well. I've been praying for him continually. In fact, story! lol. At preacher in the patch, not last night, but the night before, Ron Evitt (A preacher in the patch...oil patch, that is! [; )) was saying that in Plentywood, a woman came up to...I don't like to say represent, because that suggests that SHE could accept God for someone else, but to come and stand for someone else, in a public display of prayer for them, basically, to show publicly, as people went up to publicly receive Christ, that she was praying for someone else. And it struck a chord with me, this show before men of lifting someone else up. And again, I don't like to say show, because it makes me think of the Pharisees and doing everything for show, but to admit before men, the way the Bible tells us to. I'm not making much sense here, but I hope you guys are picking up what I'm laying down. At any rate, that struck a chord with me, and so not last night, but the night before, I went forward for this friend, to give a prayer, basically. And it was neat to see God work, because that night I had an opportunity to share my faith with this friend. I told him I was going to bed and good night and that I love him, like I do basically every night that I talk to him, and he asked me "Why?" and I said, "Why do I love you? I don't know exactly. Why does anyone love anyone else? I'm not sure it's something you can pinpoint. But I think you're an amazing person, and I don't know, I just love you." It was a lot shorter than that, of course. And he said, "Me, amazing? lol no. I'm a terrible person." And I basically just had this chance to tell him well, so am I, and so is everyone else, and bottom line is, we ALL deserve to go to Hell. And I told him that it's not that I'm some great person, it is strictly through God's grace that I am the way I am. God changed me and redeemed me. And he said "Ugh. I've changed for the worse." And I said "I don't think it's so much that you've changed as that you HAVEN'T changed. And God wants to change you. He DIED to save you." And I didn't really get a reply, and I knew he was partying so I thought maybe he'd passed out or something and I was like, "Oh, well that's brilliant." Well, I don't know why he didn't reply, but apparently he was dead sober, and so last night I asked him to just think about what I had said, because it was important to me if nothing else. It's just cool to see God working in His life, and to see God answer a prayer, I guess I feel partly because I was willing to go out on a limb. And I don't want to build myself up or anything, but I'm just trying to say that God acknowledged my prayer, and I hope the prayer of other people, too, because I've asked a bunch of people to pray about this with me. It's just cool to see God moving. On the other side of the coin, it's sort of hard, because I know part of him is breaking. And I know that it's necessary, but still, it's just hard to see someone hurt like that, to see someone who's seeking so hard, even if they don't really know it. And I can feel his pain. I've been a Christian basically all my life, but I still had to be broken before I could be useful for God, before I could be effective. And I'm thankful God DID break me then, because if He hadn't, I wouldn't have made it through this summer, and I honestly truly believe that. If my faith had been what it was when God broke me, when I was struggling, I don't know where I'd be, but my faith would NOT have been strong enough to pull me through. And so I know that if God is breaking my friend, He's doing it because He HAS to to reach him, the way He had to break me to truly reach my heart and get me on fire for Him, and I know it's for the best, but I know how much it hurts, too. But I'm okay with it, because I know if my friend allows God to work, he'll be thankful for it someday, too.
So. I'm really done now. This is CRAZY long, but it was fun to write, and I hope you enjoyed reading it. (Just remember, I certainly didn't MAKE you [; ) and once again, I'd ask you to pray. If God is breaking my friend, pray that he's willing to give it over to God in the end, that he's willing to acknowledge that God is the only One who can pick up the pieces again. And pray for me as I try to minister to him, and try to help him see God. Pray that I would have the words to say, that I would be open to God so that it wouldn't be me speaking at all, but God speaking through me.
Love you all so much, and thanks for wading through this big long blog with me. ;]
In Christ,
Erika Rose <3
xoxo =]
Pastor Tim has been doing this incredible series on prayer, on the power of prayer and the heart of a believer. He's been talking about how God is faithful to hear the prayers of the believer, and that we ought to pray always, without fainting or growing weary, and we talked about the parable of the Persistent Widow today, in Luke 19, and how if the unjust judge will listen to persistence, how much more so will God, who is just, and who does care. It's been really cool to me, but he's been talking too, about the heart of the believer, and the intentions of the believer. Do we pray to God like He's just a magic genie so He can grant our wish, or do we pray with a genuine heart and concern for HIS will, with the knowledge and peace that HE knows better, that He will answer as HE sees fit? Do we pray earnestly "Not my will, but Thine, oh God?" That's been hitting me hard. I don't pray nearly as often as I should, considering what a privilege it is. Considering the image of us entering the Throne Room of God, it's sorta humbling. When I approach Him, do I do so with the correct amount of awe and fear, in addition to the love and trust? Do I acknowledge ALL parts of Him, the part that is God of the Universe, Who hung the stars in the sky, in addition to the friend and the father who picks me up when I fall? And when I pray, do I really give it over to God and ask Him to do with it as He will, or do I ask him to do with it as I will? It's just been a really interesting study on prayer. I've been loving it.
I've been so awed by the community of believers I've found here. It's something I've never had before, at least not to this extent, and ESPECIALLY not of kids my age. It's been cool to realize that I'm not the only teenager in the world striving to live for God and follow His will for my life. It's freeing in a lot of ways because I finally feel like there's a community of people who will be there for me and pick me up when I fall. It's just been so amazing, and such a blessing, and I hope and pray that I'm a blessing to that community the way they are to me.
I was seeing today, too, one of the kids from my youth group. We were singing...well, I'd never heard it before, but this kid from my youth group had a hand up in praise. Normally this is something I'd consider really "charismatic" but I guess I'm kind of getting used to it, and it was cool to me, because I felt like this kid was so genuine, so given over to his faith. It was just cool to me and kind of awe inspiring, and I realized how attractive that is, to see faith in a person. I don't even particularly like this kid, I mean, I love him to bits, but I don't like like him, you know what I'm saying? But it was just super attractive to realize how genuine he is about his faith. I feel like we are so lacking this day in age in teen disciples of Christ, and especially of Christian guys who are willing to lead a Christian family, who are striving after God. It seems like I may even have read somewhere at some point, in Salvo magazine, maybe, that there genuinely ARE less guys living for the Lord than girls. Maybe I'm making that up, so don't quote me, but I'm PRETTY sure I'm not just pulling that outta my hat. ;] lol.
And I've been thinking about and realizing how peaceful I am with where I am in my life. God is pressing it upon my heart today that I am thankful. Which I guess it is the season. =] But I'm thankful for all the people I've been meeting, through school and through church, and I'm thankful for friends, and I'm thankful for my sister and brother in law for letting me live with them, and I am SO thankful for parents who were listening to God and who were willing to let me go when He told them to, even though I don't think it was particularly what any of us expected or wanted at the time. It was right, though. God knew what He was doing. I feel like even my worst days here are so much better than the normal days in Wibaux. I'm not gonna say the worst days here are better than the best days in Wibaux, because I had good days in Wibaux, and I have fond memories, and that is what I will hold on to. The good memories I have of the place and of the people and there will always be an attachment.
It's sort of weird, because a year ago, if you asked me where I'd be in fifteen years, there wouldn't have been any hesitation. "I'll be back in Wibaux, working the farm and my horse business, whatever that might be." And then there was the phase when I started to realize that maybe God wasn't going to put me back in Wibaux, and it was kind of devastating and terrifying. It was something I'd been so sure of all my life. The first few years outta high school were going to be turbulent and crazy and I had no idea where I was going to be, but the end result was always back in Wibaux. Now....well, I don't think that's the case. At this point in time, I don't think God wants me back in Wibaux. And I'm okay with that. In fact, I don't particularly even wanna go back! Of course, if that's where God calls me, that is where I will go. Hopefully with no hesitation. But at this point, I really don't think that's where God wants me. I don't know where He IS going to send me, at this point, and like I said, maybe He WILL send me back to Wibaux, but I don't think so. And if He does, I will be okay with it, because I've seen God's faithfulness in my life. I've seen His hand of guidance and I've felt His presence, and I've seen how God works ALL things for the good of them that love him and are called according to His purpose. (Romans 8:28) I know that wherever God sends me, even if it's hard, it's going to be something wonderful, and more than I ever could have expected or imagined for myself. Like the move to Dickinson. Terrifying, hard, seemingly impossible, but in the end, right, and wonderful, and I know part of that wonder is simply in being where God wanted me to be. It's being inside His will, resting peacefully in the palm of His hand, instead of beating against His fingers trying to get Him to let me go, which of course, He never will, because He's God.
That's sort of an interesting picture, isn't it? Imagine with me for a second...God holds us in the palm of His hand, yes? And we who believe in security of the believer believe He never ever lets us go once He's holding us. But picture then, said believer, beating against the hand of God, trying to get outside of God's will, and do things his way, because, as humans, we always think OUR way is better, yes? Isn't that a funny picture? But that's essentially what we do when we try to deny God and do it our way, instead of just doing as God has told us to. I hope that makes as much sense to you as it did to me. It sort of exemplifies the silliness of trying to do our thing instead of just sitting back and letting God do His.
This has been a novel, and I promise that I'm wrapping it up, but I just have one more thing. You know the boy I've been telling ya'll about in past blogs? Well. I've been praying for him continually. In fact, story! lol. At preacher in the patch, not last night, but the night before, Ron Evitt (A preacher in the patch...oil patch, that is! [; )) was saying that in Plentywood, a woman came up to...I don't like to say represent, because that suggests that SHE could accept God for someone else, but to come and stand for someone else, in a public display of prayer for them, basically, to show publicly, as people went up to publicly receive Christ, that she was praying for someone else. And it struck a chord with me, this show before men of lifting someone else up. And again, I don't like to say show, because it makes me think of the Pharisees and doing everything for show, but to admit before men, the way the Bible tells us to. I'm not making much sense here, but I hope you guys are picking up what I'm laying down. At any rate, that struck a chord with me, and so not last night, but the night before, I went forward for this friend, to give a prayer, basically. And it was neat to see God work, because that night I had an opportunity to share my faith with this friend. I told him I was going to bed and good night and that I love him, like I do basically every night that I talk to him, and he asked me "Why?" and I said, "Why do I love you? I don't know exactly. Why does anyone love anyone else? I'm not sure it's something you can pinpoint. But I think you're an amazing person, and I don't know, I just love you." It was a lot shorter than that, of course. And he said, "Me, amazing? lol no. I'm a terrible person." And I basically just had this chance to tell him well, so am I, and so is everyone else, and bottom line is, we ALL deserve to go to Hell. And I told him that it's not that I'm some great person, it is strictly through God's grace that I am the way I am. God changed me and redeemed me. And he said "Ugh. I've changed for the worse." And I said "I don't think it's so much that you've changed as that you HAVEN'T changed. And God wants to change you. He DIED to save you." And I didn't really get a reply, and I knew he was partying so I thought maybe he'd passed out or something and I was like, "Oh, well that's brilliant." Well, I don't know why he didn't reply, but apparently he was dead sober, and so last night I asked him to just think about what I had said, because it was important to me if nothing else. It's just cool to see God working in His life, and to see God answer a prayer, I guess I feel partly because I was willing to go out on a limb. And I don't want to build myself up or anything, but I'm just trying to say that God acknowledged my prayer, and I hope the prayer of other people, too, because I've asked a bunch of people to pray about this with me. It's just cool to see God moving. On the other side of the coin, it's sort of hard, because I know part of him is breaking. And I know that it's necessary, but still, it's just hard to see someone hurt like that, to see someone who's seeking so hard, even if they don't really know it. And I can feel his pain. I've been a Christian basically all my life, but I still had to be broken before I could be useful for God, before I could be effective. And I'm thankful God DID break me then, because if He hadn't, I wouldn't have made it through this summer, and I honestly truly believe that. If my faith had been what it was when God broke me, when I was struggling, I don't know where I'd be, but my faith would NOT have been strong enough to pull me through. And so I know that if God is breaking my friend, He's doing it because He HAS to to reach him, the way He had to break me to truly reach my heart and get me on fire for Him, and I know it's for the best, but I know how much it hurts, too. But I'm okay with it, because I know if my friend allows God to work, he'll be thankful for it someday, too.
So. I'm really done now. This is CRAZY long, but it was fun to write, and I hope you enjoyed reading it. (Just remember, I certainly didn't MAKE you [; ) and once again, I'd ask you to pray. If God is breaking my friend, pray that he's willing to give it over to God in the end, that he's willing to acknowledge that God is the only One who can pick up the pieces again. And pray for me as I try to minister to him, and try to help him see God. Pray that I would have the words to say, that I would be open to God so that it wouldn't be me speaking at all, but God speaking through me.
Love you all so much, and thanks for wading through this big long blog with me. ;]
In Christ,
Erika Rose <3
xoxo =]
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Tired of heavy blogs...
What can I say? I'm tired of emotional, heavily packed blogs. Time for just a normal one. I will not be sad or frustrated or otherwise emotional tonight. I will simply be. =]
So anyway, today was a pretty fantastic day. Uneventful, but good. I was super tired all day, and I don't know why, because I was asleep by 10:00 last night (Which is UNHEARD of, I might add) and slept in until almost seven today. I guess I Just need a couple more nights of that kinda sleep.
Concert was tonight. I feel pretty good about it. I think it was the best we've sounded as a choir all year, but I guess that tends to happen. So that was extremely fun.
And. Preacher in the Patch this weekend, which I'm also rather excited about, because it's always pretty great fun. It's always pretty fantastic to fellowship with other Christians. And tomorrow is my last day of school for the week, thanks to Teacher's Convention. And youth group tomorrow night which is always fab!
And. I'm really tired, so I'm gonna go to bed. But I just wanted to put something up. SO anyway, g'night! Love you all!
xoxo,
Erika Rose <3
So anyway, today was a pretty fantastic day. Uneventful, but good. I was super tired all day, and I don't know why, because I was asleep by 10:00 last night (Which is UNHEARD of, I might add) and slept in until almost seven today. I guess I Just need a couple more nights of that kinda sleep.
Concert was tonight. I feel pretty good about it. I think it was the best we've sounded as a choir all year, but I guess that tends to happen. So that was extremely fun.
And. Preacher in the Patch this weekend, which I'm also rather excited about, because it's always pretty great fun. It's always pretty fantastic to fellowship with other Christians. And tomorrow is my last day of school for the week, thanks to Teacher's Convention. And youth group tomorrow night which is always fab!
And. I'm really tired, so I'm gonna go to bed. But I just wanted to put something up. SO anyway, g'night! Love you all!
xoxo,
Erika Rose <3
Sunday, October 17, 2010
How do you explain...
How do you explain to someone all the reasons you don't want them to drink?
How can you put into words all the stupid things they do when they're drunk?
How do you explain that you think they can do so much better?
How do you explain that you think they DESERVE better than the hangover they'll have tomorrow?
How do you explain why you think it's wrong
without filling the role of "Judgmental Christian" that people are constantly harping about?
How do you explain that you don't want them to drink because you care about them?
How do you explain all this to them when it's all they've ever known?
When it's all they've ever seen?
When they don't know another alternative?
I don't know what to do. I have been praying, and crying out to God on behalf of this kid. He parties more or less every night, and it just makes me heart-sick. He deserves so much better than what he's getting out of life.
I told him tonight that I wished he wouldn't party, and he asked me why? I couldn't put everything I wanted into a simple text. How can you put everything that's on your heart, an issue that you are SO passionate about, that you've almost literally given up life as you know it to take a stand against, into a few short sentences? I don't think it can be done. I could write a whole book about why I think drinking is wrong. There's so many logical things, arguable facts that make drinking to excess so stupid, but beyond that, there's so many emotional aches and pains that come along with drinking.
I can't comprehend a life like this. I can't understand more or less just living for the next party, and I'm not talking about one specific person anymore, but the culture as a whole. I guess just praise God that I was never that kid who had nothing else. There was always something else for me, someONE for me.
I just hope that this kid will realize that he deserves so much better, and that if he demanded more out of life than just a night of binge drinking, he would very likely get it. Anything has to be better than that.
I just don't know. But I guess I will just continue to pray and be a friend as best I know how. What else can I do at this point?
How can you put into words all the stupid things they do when they're drunk?
How do you explain that you think they can do so much better?
How do you explain that you think they DESERVE better than the hangover they'll have tomorrow?
How do you explain why you think it's wrong
without filling the role of "Judgmental Christian" that people are constantly harping about?
How do you explain that you don't want them to drink because you care about them?
How do you explain all this to them when it's all they've ever known?
When it's all they've ever seen?
When they don't know another alternative?
I don't know what to do. I have been praying, and crying out to God on behalf of this kid. He parties more or less every night, and it just makes me heart-sick. He deserves so much better than what he's getting out of life.
I told him tonight that I wished he wouldn't party, and he asked me why? I couldn't put everything I wanted into a simple text. How can you put everything that's on your heart, an issue that you are SO passionate about, that you've almost literally given up life as you know it to take a stand against, into a few short sentences? I don't think it can be done. I could write a whole book about why I think drinking is wrong. There's so many logical things, arguable facts that make drinking to excess so stupid, but beyond that, there's so many emotional aches and pains that come along with drinking.
I can't comprehend a life like this. I can't understand more or less just living for the next party, and I'm not talking about one specific person anymore, but the culture as a whole. I guess just praise God that I was never that kid who had nothing else. There was always something else for me, someONE for me.
I just hope that this kid will realize that he deserves so much better, and that if he demanded more out of life than just a night of binge drinking, he would very likely get it. Anything has to be better than that.
I just don't know. But I guess I will just continue to pray and be a friend as best I know how. What else can I do at this point?
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Detox
Viva and I had our first official detox ride tonight.
I had spent the last slightly less than 24 hours being counselor to some friends, worrying and praying and crying out to God (Check the Issues of Freewill Blog and you'll see what I'm talking about). It's hard, and it's a great experience, because I know it draws me closer to God. And it makes me feel useful, and needed, and we all like to feel needed sometimes. But. Let's face it. Experiences like that are exhausting, physically, emotionally, spiritually.
For a long time now, horses have been my detox for those times, my way to get a perspective, get back down to earth. Unfortunately, my previous detox horse, Vegas, is getting sort of old, and I can't really just set her into a lope for miles and miles anymore.
It takes a pretty broke horse to be a detox horse. It just doesn't have the same cleansing effect if you're trying to do training or something. But today, I just went out to the pasture and piled on Viva, no ground work or anything, and rode her back to the house. Thought to myself, "Well, I left all the gates open, so let's try it." After I got her to stop stalling up and settle into her stride, she did fantastic. Flawless. Perfect. We just walked and trotted, but she was happy as a clam, didn't put a foot wrong. Had to look at the culvert kinda cross-eyed, but most horses do. We rode to the highway and back, a good two mile trip, all totaled. It was fabulous.
It's just a reminder to me, I guess, that God is still in control, that He allows me quiet moments and solid horses to get me through the tough times. It's a way to get my world back in orbit, to get perspective, a time to pray and appreciate God's creation.
And I felt so connected with Viv when we were done. Like, I haven't felt that close to her since she was like, a weanling. haha. She was all snuggly and she was all looking at me as I walked away. I know she doesn't feel human emotions or anything, but still, it was kinda sad. =P
At any rate, it was exactly what I needed. I don't know why riding helps me straighten all the thoughts in my head and get a grip on life, but it does, and I needed that today. I feel like I got a lot of the world's evil thrown at me in a small space of time. Sometimes we just need a reminder that there is still good in the world, as well.
And once again, I'm asking you guys to pray. Nothing causes change like prayer. "P.U.S.H. Pray Until Something Happens" and I know that groups praying are stronger than just one person. I've never met someone as lost as the boy I was talking about in my last blog. It breaks my heart, and it's one of those things that is so frustrating because there's so little I can do, expect be a good friend, and pray that God will work in his life. I'm trying very hard not to worry, because I know all about worry, and I just found myself wishing I was God so I could fix it...how blasphemous is that? lol. At any rate, I've made it my goal to pray every time I want to worry.
Anyway, love you all.
xoxo,
Erika Rose <3
I had spent the last slightly less than 24 hours being counselor to some friends, worrying and praying and crying out to God (Check the Issues of Freewill Blog and you'll see what I'm talking about). It's hard, and it's a great experience, because I know it draws me closer to God. And it makes me feel useful, and needed, and we all like to feel needed sometimes. But. Let's face it. Experiences like that are exhausting, physically, emotionally, spiritually.
For a long time now, horses have been my detox for those times, my way to get a perspective, get back down to earth. Unfortunately, my previous detox horse, Vegas, is getting sort of old, and I can't really just set her into a lope for miles and miles anymore.
It takes a pretty broke horse to be a detox horse. It just doesn't have the same cleansing effect if you're trying to do training or something. But today, I just went out to the pasture and piled on Viva, no ground work or anything, and rode her back to the house. Thought to myself, "Well, I left all the gates open, so let's try it." After I got her to stop stalling up and settle into her stride, she did fantastic. Flawless. Perfect. We just walked and trotted, but she was happy as a clam, didn't put a foot wrong. Had to look at the culvert kinda cross-eyed, but most horses do. We rode to the highway and back, a good two mile trip, all totaled. It was fabulous.
It's just a reminder to me, I guess, that God is still in control, that He allows me quiet moments and solid horses to get me through the tough times. It's a way to get my world back in orbit, to get perspective, a time to pray and appreciate God's creation.
And I felt so connected with Viv when we were done. Like, I haven't felt that close to her since she was like, a weanling. haha. She was all snuggly and she was all looking at me as I walked away. I know she doesn't feel human emotions or anything, but still, it was kinda sad. =P
At any rate, it was exactly what I needed. I don't know why riding helps me straighten all the thoughts in my head and get a grip on life, but it does, and I needed that today. I feel like I got a lot of the world's evil thrown at me in a small space of time. Sometimes we just need a reminder that there is still good in the world, as well.
And once again, I'm asking you guys to pray. Nothing causes change like prayer. "P.U.S.H. Pray Until Something Happens" and I know that groups praying are stronger than just one person. I've never met someone as lost as the boy I was talking about in my last blog. It breaks my heart, and it's one of those things that is so frustrating because there's so little I can do, expect be a good friend, and pray that God will work in his life. I'm trying very hard not to worry, because I know all about worry, and I just found myself wishing I was God so I could fix it...how blasphemous is that? lol. At any rate, I've made it my goal to pray every time I want to worry.
Anyway, love you all.
xoxo,
Erika Rose <3
Issues of Free Will
So. Since last night, I've been trying to reconcile some things in my head. Namely, the image of God I KNOW to be true, a God who is perfect, and holy, who abhors sin and who comforts the weak and down trodden. For a while, I couldn't reconcile that with a God who allows a mother to beat her 9 year old daughter, who allows her boyfriend to beat her son when he steps in to make a difference. How can my loving, wonderful, perfect, all-powerful, all-knowing God allow THAT to happen? Because the "We live in a fallen world" line just wasn't really cutting it anymore.
The conclusion I came to was relatively simple, I guess, maybe because it's something I've spent so long trying to reconcile. My conclusion was, it all comes back to free will. I've struggled with that for a long time, but it explains the allowance of sin.
If God loves us enough to let us be free, to make our own decisions, it means he certainly wouldn't impose His will on a non-Christian. And I realized He wouldn't be the God I love and serve if He did. Maybe it's just my pride speaking, but I don't like thinking of myself as a puppet on a string.
I've been thinking, too, about whether praying for the salvation of a non-Christian friend imposes on their free will. The term Grandpa Zimm answered me with was "Convict, not Coerce." I liked that. The way Mom put it to me was that He sends His Spirit to convict them, but it doesn't FORCE them to accept His salvation in any way shape or form. The responsibility still rests with them.
So I guess those are my thoughts for the last little while.
And while we're here, I guess I'd like to send out another prayer request for my friend. He needs God. What more can I say?
xoxo,
Erika Rose <3
The conclusion I came to was relatively simple, I guess, maybe because it's something I've spent so long trying to reconcile. My conclusion was, it all comes back to free will. I've struggled with that for a long time, but it explains the allowance of sin.
If God loves us enough to let us be free, to make our own decisions, it means he certainly wouldn't impose His will on a non-Christian. And I realized He wouldn't be the God I love and serve if He did. Maybe it's just my pride speaking, but I don't like thinking of myself as a puppet on a string.
I've been thinking, too, about whether praying for the salvation of a non-Christian friend imposes on their free will. The term Grandpa Zimm answered me with was "Convict, not Coerce." I liked that. The way Mom put it to me was that He sends His Spirit to convict them, but it doesn't FORCE them to accept His salvation in any way shape or form. The responsibility still rests with them.
So I guess those are my thoughts for the last little while.
And while we're here, I guess I'd like to send out another prayer request for my friend. He needs God. What more can I say?
xoxo,
Erika Rose <3
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Bring the Rain
"So I pray
Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory
And I know there'll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise you
Then Jesus bring the rain."
This song is becoming yet another of my many anthems, I guess. I just love it. I hope that I have that kind of heart. And obviously, none of us wants God to bring the rain, but we know that life in general brings rain, and so I hope that this is my attitude -- Rain is inevitable, but it's a chance to bring God glory, and if that's what it takes, so be it.
I guess the experiences of the past summer, and not even the summer, but the past couple of years, have cemented in my mind a couple of facts.
1.) God DOES have a plan (Even when we can't fathom what it could POSSIBLY be)
2.) God WILL be glorified, no matter the outcome.
I felt for a long time like this summer's events were a complete and utter failure, and I wrestled for a long time with the HEAD knowledge that God will be glorified without being able to reconcile it in my heart. For a long time, I just didn't understand how God could be glorified in the situations that have unfolded, but I realized a couple more things.
1.) God will (hopefully) be glorified in MY life.
If I am giving God the glory, and if I am keeping my eyes on Him, then God IS being glorified, even in the midst of the storm, through me.
2.) Things are only just beginning, not the end. God will STILL be glorified.
It's sort of like "Things will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end!" We KNOW who wins in the end, and that's all we need to know.
And I've struggled for a while with what I'm supposed to do. Yet another struggle of mine has been the fact that I feel like I somehow personally failed. I feel in some ways I let my classmates down. That's probably the biggest one, but it's among others. I just feel that things have backfired so horribly that the whole dang thing is just a failure! But once again, God will be glorified in MY life, and I"m also realizing something else.
I realized that maybe my ministry in Wibaux is done. I don't know. Maybe not. If God sends me back to Wibaux, I will go. Albeit, not happily. But at least for this particular moment, my ministry is HERE, in Dickinson, and I Need to just grow where God has planted me, so to speak. I've been resting in the assurance that I am where God wants me, but I haven't been RESTING in it, you know? I've still been looking back, sort of. But I realized that maybe my experiences aren't so much to make a change in Wibaux (although I still hope and pray that it will yet bring a revival there) but maybe more that the whole thing is supposed to effect lives through the STORY, rather than the actual experience.
I guess what I'm saying is that what God's been putting on my heart is that even though for me, at this point, the experience seems over, it's not like it's no longer useful because I'm not there effecting it now. But maybe I'm supposed to use those experiences where I am. I'm hoping that God gave me these experiences so that someone else can relate to me.
It's given me answers to some of the hard questions, and it's given me an answer to give when people ask "Why do you believe what you believe?" "How do you know God exists?" It used to be I couldn't REALLY answer those. Not solidly. Not in a way that someone else would really believe. But now I can, because it's right there in my testimony. THIS is why I believe what I believe. THIS is how I know God exists, THIS is why I'm sure He cares and why I am absolutely 110% positive He has a plan for literally EVERYTHING.
And I realized, too, that I've sort of been hording my gifts and my stories. God's been putting it on my heart for a couple weeks that my ministry at this point is through my story and my music, and so I think I'm going to get a chance to share my testimony and hopefully do some praise team for church and stuff, too. =]
We talked about having a servant's heart, like I said in my last blog, and I realized that I'm always happiest when I'm serving someone else, and so I need to be using what I've been given...
This turned out to be a novel and it's probably hard to read and all over the place because I was having a hard time putting things into words, but I guess that's all for now. =]
xoxo,
Erika Rose
Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory
And I know there'll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise you
Then Jesus bring the rain."
This song is becoming yet another of my many anthems, I guess. I just love it. I hope that I have that kind of heart. And obviously, none of us wants God to bring the rain, but we know that life in general brings rain, and so I hope that this is my attitude -- Rain is inevitable, but it's a chance to bring God glory, and if that's what it takes, so be it.
I guess the experiences of the past summer, and not even the summer, but the past couple of years, have cemented in my mind a couple of facts.
1.) God DOES have a plan (Even when we can't fathom what it could POSSIBLY be)
2.) God WILL be glorified, no matter the outcome.
I felt for a long time like this summer's events were a complete and utter failure, and I wrestled for a long time with the HEAD knowledge that God will be glorified without being able to reconcile it in my heart. For a long time, I just didn't understand how God could be glorified in the situations that have unfolded, but I realized a couple more things.
1.) God will (hopefully) be glorified in MY life.
If I am giving God the glory, and if I am keeping my eyes on Him, then God IS being glorified, even in the midst of the storm, through me.
2.) Things are only just beginning, not the end. God will STILL be glorified.
It's sort of like "Things will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end!" We KNOW who wins in the end, and that's all we need to know.
And I've struggled for a while with what I'm supposed to do. Yet another struggle of mine has been the fact that I feel like I somehow personally failed. I feel in some ways I let my classmates down. That's probably the biggest one, but it's among others. I just feel that things have backfired so horribly that the whole dang thing is just a failure! But once again, God will be glorified in MY life, and I"m also realizing something else.
I realized that maybe my ministry in Wibaux is done. I don't know. Maybe not. If God sends me back to Wibaux, I will go. Albeit, not happily. But at least for this particular moment, my ministry is HERE, in Dickinson, and I Need to just grow where God has planted me, so to speak. I've been resting in the assurance that I am where God wants me, but I haven't been RESTING in it, you know? I've still been looking back, sort of. But I realized that maybe my experiences aren't so much to make a change in Wibaux (although I still hope and pray that it will yet bring a revival there) but maybe more that the whole thing is supposed to effect lives through the STORY, rather than the actual experience.
I guess what I'm saying is that what God's been putting on my heart is that even though for me, at this point, the experience seems over, it's not like it's no longer useful because I'm not there effecting it now. But maybe I'm supposed to use those experiences where I am. I'm hoping that God gave me these experiences so that someone else can relate to me.
It's given me answers to some of the hard questions, and it's given me an answer to give when people ask "Why do you believe what you believe?" "How do you know God exists?" It used to be I couldn't REALLY answer those. Not solidly. Not in a way that someone else would really believe. But now I can, because it's right there in my testimony. THIS is why I believe what I believe. THIS is how I know God exists, THIS is why I'm sure He cares and why I am absolutely 110% positive He has a plan for literally EVERYTHING.
And I realized, too, that I've sort of been hording my gifts and my stories. God's been putting it on my heart for a couple weeks that my ministry at this point is through my story and my music, and so I think I'm going to get a chance to share my testimony and hopefully do some praise team for church and stuff, too. =]
We talked about having a servant's heart, like I said in my last blog, and I realized that I'm always happiest when I'm serving someone else, and so I need to be using what I've been given...
This turned out to be a novel and it's probably hard to read and all over the place because I was having a hard time putting things into words, but I guess that's all for now. =]
xoxo,
Erika Rose
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Intense, Incredible, Ridiculous amounts of excitement...
So. I messaged my cabin from camp this summer first, because I PROMISED them they would be the first to know, but then I jogged right on over here to post a blog about it, because I'm just THAT excited.
I finally finished the song that I've been working on since camp this summer. I've had the words finished for forever and the tune for quite a while, but I finally got around to actually getting music for it! I'm SOOO excited. It has guitar chords and everything.
Video on Facebook to follow sometime in the near future. If not tonight then hopefully tomorrow. So. Yes. That is all. I just had to post...
EDIT:
Here are the words. Like I said, video to follow.
Oh, it's titled Give it Up
You've been my friend for a while now
And I can't even tell you how
How much I've come, to care for you
But I know you're not walking in the truth
In the light of His love
Friend He loves you so much
I can't tell you how much
Chorus:
Let go of all your burdens and your shame
Because I know you feel it
My friend you'll never be the same
So give it up, give it up
Give it back to God, back to God
And just give it up
Friend I think you're searching
In all the wrong locations
The world cannot replace
God's grace
He can take away your sin
Make you new again
Bridge:
It breaks my heart o know
That if you go
You'll have nothing to show
To the Holy God, my Mighty God
Friend make Him yours
And just give it up...
I finally finished the song that I've been working on since camp this summer. I've had the words finished for forever and the tune for quite a while, but I finally got around to actually getting music for it! I'm SOOO excited. It has guitar chords and everything.
Video on Facebook to follow sometime in the near future. If not tonight then hopefully tomorrow. So. Yes. That is all. I just had to post...
EDIT:
Here are the words. Like I said, video to follow.
Oh, it's titled Give it Up
You've been my friend for a while now
And I can't even tell you how
How much I've come, to care for you
But I know you're not walking in the truth
In the light of His love
Friend He loves you so much
I can't tell you how much
Chorus:
Let go of all your burdens and your shame
Because I know you feel it
My friend you'll never be the same
So give it up, give it up
Give it back to God, back to God
And just give it up
Friend I think you're searching
In all the wrong locations
The world cannot replace
God's grace
He can take away your sin
Make you new again
Bridge:
It breaks my heart o know
That if you go
You'll have nothing to show
To the Holy God, my Mighty God
Friend make Him yours
And just give it up...
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Hope...
So today I have been pondering hope, and how so many of the people I know are completely and utterly hopeLESS. I think this is so sad and tragic, because hope s right at their fingertips, in easy grasp. It's like...well, I don't remember who was saying it, but someone said it, that if you seek, you WILL find, because God WANTS to be found.
I just don't know how they can live like that. There is no meaning in life to them, no point, no purpose. I can't really fathom how they live like that. I guess I was blessed enough to be born into a Christian family where I never really had those questions--well, I did, but there was always an answer right at my finger tips. I only had to ask and someone told. I think I've taken that so much for granted.
But the bottom line is, what do I do about it now? The biggest thing on my heart lately has been to pray. I've been trying to be a prayer warrior, which is super-duper hard for me, because I'm a little ADD about that sort of thing, but I know it's the best thing I can do, other than be a friend to them.
At FCA today (Fellowship of Christian Athletes) we talked about having a servant's heart; what it means to be a servant and how we apply it to our every day lives. And I had the greatest quote in my devos this morning--"God isn't looking for ability, He's searching for availability." Sort of like "God doesn't choose the qualified, He qualifies the chosen." And so I am making it my deepest effort to be a servant, and to be available to God whenever, wherever, no matter what. I want to have a servant's heart and I want to seek God, and I want to be a prayer warrior.
So I guess I'd invite you to pray with me. Pray for the people I don't feel I should mention on the internet, but who are very specific in my mind and who need God's hope and peace desperately. Pray for me, as I trudge on the journey God has set before my feet, that He would use me, that I would be an instrument He can use, clay in the Potter's hands. And know that I'm praying for you, too, whoever you are, all the people out there who read my blog.
Love you all so much.
Erika Rose
I just don't know how they can live like that. There is no meaning in life to them, no point, no purpose. I can't really fathom how they live like that. I guess I was blessed enough to be born into a Christian family where I never really had those questions--well, I did, but there was always an answer right at my finger tips. I only had to ask and someone told. I think I've taken that so much for granted.
But the bottom line is, what do I do about it now? The biggest thing on my heart lately has been to pray. I've been trying to be a prayer warrior, which is super-duper hard for me, because I'm a little ADD about that sort of thing, but I know it's the best thing I can do, other than be a friend to them.
At FCA today (Fellowship of Christian Athletes) we talked about having a servant's heart; what it means to be a servant and how we apply it to our every day lives. And I had the greatest quote in my devos this morning--"God isn't looking for ability, He's searching for availability." Sort of like "God doesn't choose the qualified, He qualifies the chosen." And so I am making it my deepest effort to be a servant, and to be available to God whenever, wherever, no matter what. I want to have a servant's heart and I want to seek God, and I want to be a prayer warrior.
So I guess I'd invite you to pray with me. Pray for the people I don't feel I should mention on the internet, but who are very specific in my mind and who need God's hope and peace desperately. Pray for me, as I trudge on the journey God has set before my feet, that He would use me, that I would be an instrument He can use, clay in the Potter's hands. And know that I'm praying for you, too, whoever you are, all the people out there who read my blog.
Love you all so much.
Erika Rose
Monday, October 4, 2010
My Name is Erika...
My name is Erika Rose Scammon.
I just turned sixteen, on the first of October.
I have brown hair and hazel eyes.
I'm of average height, and pretty much just your average girl.
I love music.
I do my best to live my life for God.
I take everyone at face value.
I'm not one to worry about what anyone says about me.
Or about you, for that matter.
I'm loyal to my fault.
I'll stick up for my friends no matter what.
I can't just walk away from anything.
I'm not shy about voicing my opinions.
I don't start fights
but I will be the one to finish it.
I can't hold a grudge to save my life.
I can get along with anyone.
It's easier for me to make friends than enemies.
I believe in true love and happy endings.
I have a lot of convictions
and I stand by them pretty passionately.
I love dogs.
I have lots of random pet peeves.
It's dead sexy when guys get the door.
I have a thing for nice hands
oh, and pretty eyes.
I'm a bit of a bleeding heart.
In some senses, I'm an easy person to know
on the other hand, I keep a lot close to my chest.
I like to think I'm artsy, but I know I'm probably not.
I enjoy writing. Obviously or I wouldn't have a blog.
I love proper grammar and punctuation.
I wish that I could move well enough to be a dancer.
I don't lack in self confidence
most of the time.
I'm kinda a hopeless optimist.
I try and see the good in everyone.
I'm a hopeless romantic.
I would pretty much die before letting a friend down.
I'm running out of things to say about myself, but
this was certainly an interesting soul search. =]
I just turned sixteen, on the first of October.
I have brown hair and hazel eyes.
I'm of average height, and pretty much just your average girl.
I love music.
I do my best to live my life for God.
I take everyone at face value.
I'm not one to worry about what anyone says about me.
Or about you, for that matter.
I'm loyal to my fault.
I'll stick up for my friends no matter what.
I can't just walk away from anything.
I'm not shy about voicing my opinions.
I don't start fights
but I will be the one to finish it.
I can't hold a grudge to save my life.
I can get along with anyone.
It's easier for me to make friends than enemies.
I believe in true love and happy endings.
I have a lot of convictions
and I stand by them pretty passionately.
I love dogs.
I have lots of random pet peeves.
It's dead sexy when guys get the door.
I have a thing for nice hands
oh, and pretty eyes.
I'm a bit of a bleeding heart.
In some senses, I'm an easy person to know
on the other hand, I keep a lot close to my chest.
I like to think I'm artsy, but I know I'm probably not.
I enjoy writing. Obviously or I wouldn't have a blog.
I love proper grammar and punctuation.
I wish that I could move well enough to be a dancer.
I don't lack in self confidence
most of the time.
I'm kinda a hopeless optimist.
I try and see the good in everyone.
I'm a hopeless romantic.
I would pretty much die before letting a friend down.
I'm running out of things to say about myself, but
this was certainly an interesting soul search. =]
Saturday, October 2, 2010
I'm SIxteen...
That is so weird. Like. I'M SIXTEEN!! lol. Everyone always asked me on my birthday if I felt any different and I never did, and I don't feel different, but it's just...weird that I'm sixteen. Like, even thirteen didn't feel this weird. I feel like this is such a big step. Sixteen year olds always seemed so old and mature to me when I was younger. Now I'm one of them...hahahaha.
I'm so excited, though. I feel like I'm in such a good place right now. I guess maybe, well, no, a huge part of it is that I have the assurance that this is where God wants me. This is the right choice. There's always blessing in that, comfort. I guess I sort of feel like that for the past couple of years, it's been storm after storm, but now everything's coming right again and straightening out. I feel like my relationship with God is stronger than it's ever been, and I think having a solid youth group with other Christian kids is a huge part of that for me. It's like, these people understand where I'm at because we're all in the same boat.
I'm just feeling super optimistic. This is gonna be a good year. =]
xoxo,
Erika Rose <3
I'm so excited, though. I feel like I'm in such a good place right now. I guess maybe, well, no, a huge part of it is that I have the assurance that this is where God wants me. This is the right choice. There's always blessing in that, comfort. I guess I sort of feel like that for the past couple of years, it's been storm after storm, but now everything's coming right again and straightening out. I feel like my relationship with God is stronger than it's ever been, and I think having a solid youth group with other Christian kids is a huge part of that for me. It's like, these people understand where I'm at because we're all in the same boat.
I'm just feeling super optimistic. This is gonna be a good year. =]
xoxo,
Erika Rose <3
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