"Kay, I don't feel like I'm one of those high maintenance girls who requires Herculean efforts from her friends. In fact, I'd be inclined to say that I'm pretty low maintenance. But I'm low maintenance, not no maintenance. A little effort is nice. Friendships are two way streets. Okay. That's my rant of the night. I'm done now. :)"
That was my Facebook, status, but I lied. I'm not done ranting.
Tonight, I am just so frustrated. I guess I'm just feeling super lonely and a wee bit jealous. I'm strong enough to admit that. My best friend is engaged. My two other best friends had dates tonight as well. I went to basketball games and since then have pretty much sat at home, doing nothing, because everybody either had plans or couldn't go out. I'm not complaining about that. It happens.
But I am frustrated with people, and society as a whole today. People are so inherently...well, flakey, I guess. I've been let down. A lot. And it's not that these people have let me down--I understand that they're human, and they're going to let me down. It's inevitable. And I know I'm going to let them down, too. We're human, and we're imperfect. It's that flake factor that gets to me, though. It's that lack of willingness to make an effort.
People think friendships will still be there if you don't put any effort into them. And with some friends, it's true you can go years without talking and pick up right where you left off. But there's not the trust factor there. I don't feel that those friendships go very deep. If you want someone to rely on, you need to put some effort into it. I don't think people understand that.
I feel that in some ways, I have very fair weather friends. I feel that some of them only come around when they need something from me. Never mind when I need something from them. I've gotten myself a reputation as being the go-to girl when you need a shoulder to cry on, or whatever. And I love that, truly, I do. I love people, I care about them, I'm somebody they can trust who will be there for them every time. But even some of my Christian friends are never really willing to do the same.
As my facebook status said, I don't require huge amount of effort, but friendships are DEFINITELY two-way streets. You have to GIVE, too, not just take. And we're living in a society of takers, and nobody really cares about anything except themselves.
I also think that people have some ludicrous idea that I've got it all together, that I'm happy all the time. And that is the image I put off, so I guess I can't really blame them for thinking that. But the fact of the matter is, yes, I am a generally happy person, probably happier than most, but nobody is THAT happy. I'm just not comfortable showing people that, because I feel like there's so few people that I can trust.
So I suppose my prayer is that you would read this and resolve to make an effort, not just for me, but for ALL your friends. Maybe ask that person who's always happy how they are, and if you feel like they're lying, tell them to tell you the truth, because I think that's the most common lie ever told: I'm fine." Go the extra mile. Be willing to put out. And be aware of the fact that you get what you give.
NOW I am done ranting for the night.
These are post-scripts. Just a couple examples of the reason I LOVE Tenth Avenue North. They have a song for everything.
