I walk down the parking lot. The wind is cold, biting through my jean jacket. It's not enough for the weather, but I really don't care. I'm not planning to be out and about much. I catch sight of a friend's car and smile a little to myself. Some of these cars are familiar--most are not. I find myself relieved that this is the last time I will be making this walk. I'm confident about the decision that has been made. There's no regret that I won't have to do this again.
I am infinitely grateful for the time I have spent here, for the experiences I have gained, and the friends I have made. For all its trial and difficulty, I am so glad to have had this experience. It was a good choice for the moment, and I don't regret it, but I don't regret where I'm headed now, either. I am at peace with the choices I've made, with the battle I've fought. But that period is over, and I am ready to move onto something new. Take some time to rest, recoup, and prepare for tomorrow's battle, whatever tomorrow, in all its uncertainties, happens to bring me.
A thousand thank yous to the people who made my stay in Dickinson incredible and worth while. There are far too many of you to count, just know that each and every person I have come in contact with over the last seven months has had an impact, and I am thankful to all of you. I will miss you the most, of everything that I am leaving behind, but I am ready to move on. I will miss you. I love you all. I will keep in touch. I promise. :)
Thank you so much for the fun times and the experiences. You're the most fantastic people. I love you. :)
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Immediately...
I was just browsing through my Bible and happened across some verses I had highlighted, presumably an extremely long time ago, in Matthew, where Jesus walked on water, and a few verses, one word in particular, caught me eye.
and then:
Do you guys see the theme? IMMEDIATELY said to them. IMMEDIATELY reached out and caught him. Immediately.
I don't know why, but that's just comforting. God doesn't allow us to flounder around. His aid is instantaneous. And my teen study Bible had the note that doubt doesn't drive Jesus away. He's there regardless of whether we are strong or weak. It's sort of, just because we doubt God, he doesn't ever doubt us. He is there no matter what. If we walk away, He will still be waiting when we come back.
I just love that immediately, though. We don't have to wait for God, or at least for His comfort. We are always trying to wait for His perfect timing, because I'm finding that God's schedule is rarely mine, but His comfort, His guidance, His peace, His love...instantaneous. We don't have to wait for it. It's there right now, and it will be in a millisecond and a minute and an hour and a day from now. All we have to do is reach out.
And Know that God is reaching out for us.
That is a comfort to me, that even when I doubt and fear and tremble, God is reaching for me, even when I am not reaching for Him...
xoxo,
Erika Rose <3
"It's a ghost!" they said, and cried out in fear. But Jesus immediately said to them: "Take courage! It is I!"
and then:
"But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, "Lord, save me!"
Immediately, Jesus reached out His hand and caught him."
Do you guys see the theme? IMMEDIATELY said to them. IMMEDIATELY reached out and caught him. Immediately.
I don't know why, but that's just comforting. God doesn't allow us to flounder around. His aid is instantaneous. And my teen study Bible had the note that doubt doesn't drive Jesus away. He's there regardless of whether we are strong or weak. It's sort of, just because we doubt God, he doesn't ever doubt us. He is there no matter what. If we walk away, He will still be waiting when we come back.
I just love that immediately, though. We don't have to wait for God, or at least for His comfort. We are always trying to wait for His perfect timing, because I'm finding that God's schedule is rarely mine, but His comfort, His guidance, His peace, His love...instantaneous. We don't have to wait for it. It's there right now, and it will be in a millisecond and a minute and an hour and a day from now. All we have to do is reach out.
And Know that God is reaching out for us.
"Immediately, Jesus reached out for his hand and caught him."
That is a comfort to me, that even when I doubt and fear and tremble, God is reaching for me, even when I am not reaching for Him...
xoxo,
Erika Rose <3
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Black and White
Well, these are my thoughts for the day.
I'm starting to think that as Christians, we tend to see things in black and white, right or wrong. And in a sense, things are pretty black and white. As far as do's and don'ts, the Bible is pretty clear. But I think sometimes we get too set in that mindset.
You see, my thoughts for the day are, when I look at a lot of people, non-Christians especially, and see people who consistently sin, I'm starting to see not so much the sin as the hurt that causes them to sin.
Don't get me wrong, I don't think that the fact that somebody hurts is an excuse to sin, or makes it not wrong, but I do feel it changes the way we need to look at them or minister to them.
The way I see it is, all men are without excuse. They KNOW what they're doing is wrong. They don't need us to tell them that what they're doing is wrong--they already know! At which point, I think we need to ask ourselves, why don't they care?
I think a lot of times people sin, particularly with sins like substance abuse or sleeping around, because they hurt and they don't know what else to do. In which case they don't need us to tell them what's wrong with how they're living. Rather, I think they need to see an alternative lifestyle in our lives. And I think, too, we need to make a point of loving on them, rather than judging them. What makes us any different from the rest of the world if we judge them exactly the same? We're supposed to love people, and Christians have this reputation for being judgmental. Not that it's true, but I think we need to be all the more aware of the fact that people are predisposed to thinking we're judgmental.
I think it's a lot more important that we love people than judge them. And I think we need to be building relationships with them. Who's going to listen to a random person on the street telling them they're going to Hell? It may be true, but not everything that's true needs to be said all the time. And they're much more likely to listen to you say that, if that's what needs to be said, if you have a relationship with them, if you've built a friendship and they have past reasons to believe that you love them and that they can trust you, and that you honestly have their best interest at heart.
I feel like sometimes we look down on the people who do befriend people who are "sinners." But honestly, I believe that's what needs to happen.
My last thought is, who are we to judge? First of all, we don't know ANYTHING about this person or where they're from. Like I say, circumstance doesn't keep something from being wrong, but sometimes it sheds a little light on what's happening. And 2, it's not like we're perfect, either. We are rarely in a position to judge.
I'm not saying that sometimes we don't need to tell somebody that what they're doing is wrong. Sometimes, it's what they need to hear. But I think in dealing with people, and in ministering to people, it's not actually as black and white as we tend to think. You just have to take it case by case, but I think first and foremost, we need to love people. Love first, and if you must, judge second. But always, ALWAYS love first. And make sure they KNOW that you love them and that you are "judging" them BECAUSE you care about them.
I think you're bound to have a lot more impact if people know you care about them.
Those are my ponderings for the day.
xoxo,
Erika Rose
I'm starting to think that as Christians, we tend to see things in black and white, right or wrong. And in a sense, things are pretty black and white. As far as do's and don'ts, the Bible is pretty clear. But I think sometimes we get too set in that mindset.
You see, my thoughts for the day are, when I look at a lot of people, non-Christians especially, and see people who consistently sin, I'm starting to see not so much the sin as the hurt that causes them to sin.
Don't get me wrong, I don't think that the fact that somebody hurts is an excuse to sin, or makes it not wrong, but I do feel it changes the way we need to look at them or minister to them.
The way I see it is, all men are without excuse. They KNOW what they're doing is wrong. They don't need us to tell them that what they're doing is wrong--they already know! At which point, I think we need to ask ourselves, why don't they care?
I think a lot of times people sin, particularly with sins like substance abuse or sleeping around, because they hurt and they don't know what else to do. In which case they don't need us to tell them what's wrong with how they're living. Rather, I think they need to see an alternative lifestyle in our lives. And I think, too, we need to make a point of loving on them, rather than judging them. What makes us any different from the rest of the world if we judge them exactly the same? We're supposed to love people, and Christians have this reputation for being judgmental. Not that it's true, but I think we need to be all the more aware of the fact that people are predisposed to thinking we're judgmental.
I think it's a lot more important that we love people than judge them. And I think we need to be building relationships with them. Who's going to listen to a random person on the street telling them they're going to Hell? It may be true, but not everything that's true needs to be said all the time. And they're much more likely to listen to you say that, if that's what needs to be said, if you have a relationship with them, if you've built a friendship and they have past reasons to believe that you love them and that they can trust you, and that you honestly have their best interest at heart.
I feel like sometimes we look down on the people who do befriend people who are "sinners." But honestly, I believe that's what needs to happen.
My last thought is, who are we to judge? First of all, we don't know ANYTHING about this person or where they're from. Like I say, circumstance doesn't keep something from being wrong, but sometimes it sheds a little light on what's happening. And 2, it's not like we're perfect, either. We are rarely in a position to judge.
I'm not saying that sometimes we don't need to tell somebody that what they're doing is wrong. Sometimes, it's what they need to hear. But I think in dealing with people, and in ministering to people, it's not actually as black and white as we tend to think. You just have to take it case by case, but I think first and foremost, we need to love people. Love first, and if you must, judge second. But always, ALWAYS love first. And make sure they KNOW that you love them and that you are "judging" them BECAUSE you care about them.
I think you're bound to have a lot more impact if people know you care about them.
Those are my ponderings for the day.
xoxo,
Erika Rose
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