To Make a Difference...

I've been meaning to put a blog up for days, now. Obviously I'm just now getting around to it. There's so much to write. I don't even know where to start. LA Ink is on the TV, my computer is crashed and therefor I'm on my sister's computer. School has been amazing. I have to give a speech next week and write a movie review. But I'm excited. I love that sort of project. Which is part of why I love it here. Drama try outs were yesterday, but I won't know what the castings are until Tuesday. That wasn't really what I wanted to write about.

Last week, on Sunday, grandpa gave this incredible sermon, about the verses in Matthew where Jesus said "Come to me, all ye who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest." He asked some great questions; what is rest? How do we get it? Rest, as Jesus was talking, is the rest of the soul, peace, no matter how troubling the times. And how do we get it? There were three things. First, we have to come. We have to come to Jesus, and allow him to take away our burdens, take away our sins, take away our shame. Jesus then proceeds on to say "Take my yoke upon you." So we have to take. And it doesn't mean so much TAKE as that we have to SURRENDER. We have to give everything we have to God, surrendering our entire LIVES to Him. And then we have to learn. We have to be willing to learn from Him, because when we learn from someone, we have a tendency to become like the person we're learning from. Isn't that what we're called to do? To be like God, to be holy.

The thing that just kept hitting me though, was the "come" part. How many people out there do I know, how many people do YOU know, who are out there, lost? How many people do we know who are searching, who desire to come, but don't even know what they're looking for; people who KNOW that they're incomplete, but who don't know WHY. I have friends who search for people to complete them, who think that people are going to complete them, make them happy. And I know someone else who parties, because they think it's fun. And maybe that's all they're looking for is a good time; I don't know. I'm not a mind reader. But I do know that they NEED God, and that they're lost. Maybe they know where to find it, and they've denied it. That almost hurts worse. I'm such a bleeding heart, and I hate seeing people hurt, and I hate knowing that they're lost...

And all of this leads me to think, what have I done? What am I doing? How much of a testimony is my life to these lost souls? Have I truly surrendered to God? Am I impacting them? Is my life, as I'm living it, a testimony, to them, and to everyone else around me? Am I different? Am I set apart? Where does God want me? What have I been called to do? Am I doing it? Am I having a positive impact on the lives of these people I care about so much?

Ultimately, what should I be doing? Am I in direct accordance to what God wants? Am I doing everything in my power to be holy? Is everything in me, every part of my heart and my soul and my BEING cleaving toward God?

Huh. Thoughts to ponder, I guess.

xoxo,
Me <3