"Don't Worry...Just Keep Believing"

Well. Once again. It's been a while. But I guess that's okay. I just spent some time making my blog look pretty, and I gotta say, I'm quite happy with the results. I've pretty much spent the entire day looking for something to do. I've been in an awful mood, and it was bad enough that I CLEANED!! I started with my room. Then I cleaned the bathroom. Tub, sink, toilet, everything. Then I swept the kitchen, and vacuumed the rugs. And I dusted. And then I went and drove around. And then I came home and worked on my blog. I took movies and books and stuff back, at some point. And. That's pretty much been my entire day.

I hate being in bad moods. Hate, hate, HATE them. I don't like myself, for one thing, because I feel like I'm just a twit to everyone, and it's a sucky feeling anyway.

It seems like everything falls apart at the same time. My friends are struggling, I'm struggling, there's things I feel convicted to do but as yet have not figured out how to go about doing them. I can't really help my friends when I'm in such a state of mind, and it just makes me feel worse knowing that they feel bad. If I have to feel bad, it's nice to know that at least my friends are all okay. But that's not the case. I guess such is life.

I spent some time with my guitar today. It's funny how music brings so much peace for me. I guess it's just a reminder that I've been given a gift, and I guess one of the biggest ways God speaks to me has always been through music. Probably always will be. There's just something about singing to yourself that your God is mighty to save, that we can come as we are to worship, and that His love is unending and His grace is amazing. I guess just a reminder that God hasn't lost control of this big old world, even though it feels like things are falling apart.

The time is drawing near to start making decisions, and I don't feel that I'm ready to make them, but they have to be made nonetheless, and so I will make them, for better or worse, even though I don't even want to face the idea yet. Que sera sera. What will be will be. "Don't worry...Just keep on believing." I think that's one of the most simplistic, powerful statements I've ever heard in a sermon. "Don't worry...Just keep on believing."

And so I will. I will believe that God has a plan for my friends who are struggling, for the friends who don't know Him. I will trust the fact that He loves them even more than I do, even though that is so hard for me to wrap my mind around, because I love passionately. I will trust that God has a plan for my life, whatever this coming year brings. I will trust that He will use me for His purposes, because he always receives the glory in the end. I will trust that my conviction to be more proactive, instead of just reactive, is truly a conviction, and something I need to act upon. I will trust that God will show me how He wants me to act upon that conviction, even though I don't have the slightest inkling as of now.

I will make an honest effort not to worry, because worry is sin.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

Philippians 4:6

God tells us directly not to be anxious about anything, which is a direct commandment. Therefor, we should not worry, or we are disobedient. Also, by worrying, we try and make ourselves God. It says to God, "I think I can handle this better than You." Some of the great thoughts I was met with while at camp this summer.

And so. I will try not to worry, even though I'm a worry-wart by nature and feel a need to fix everything and make everyone feel better. My challenge, I guess, for the time being is going to be this:

Every time I start to worry about something, I'm going to pray about it instead.

And. I guess. That's all I have for today. Now that I've rambled on and on and on. Haha.

xoxo,
Erika Rose