Wordless Prayer

It's funny sometimes, how God answers prayer even when we don't know exactly what we're praying for--or even that we're praying at all. I was feeling a little down this weekend. I don't know why. Maybe just exhaustion. Feeling a little lonely. As a girl, it's pretty easy to blame stuff on hormones, so I try not to let myself get too down, or at least not dwell on it too long. I don't trust me emotions too much, and so I didn't think about it. But I guess God just put it on my hear this weekend that He truly cares about EVERY aspect of our lives, even the things we mark off as petty or silly.

I was feeling pretty lonely. I don't know why, exactly, and it sounds petty to hear me say it. But this weekend, I got to hang out with two of my best friends, being Dustin and Sarah. Dustin and I just had a crazy time doing absolutely nothing. It was a good detox, to just talk things out and chill. And then on Sunday I got to see Sarah, and we spent time reminiscing about old memories, wondering where we'll be in a few years. I heard from my friend Jennifer, from back in Wibaux, who I don't talk to nearly often enough and, while we didn't talk about a whole lot, it was good to hear from her. And then last night I got a text from one of my old classmates, who I haven't talked to in forever, who, in all honesty, I didn't expect to hear from at ALL. And he basically just told me he doesn't hold anything against me. He thought I should go back to Wibaux at semester. :] He'll probably never know exactly how much that meant to me. He was one of the first to specifically tell me he's over it, doesn't hold anything against me. I've talked to kids back home, but we've never talked about the documentary. For some reason, it was just really freeing. I talked to Chella, too, (Rachel, one of my other best friends) is gonna get me into rodeo, or at least if she's got anything to say about it. ;] And again, that support means the world to me.

Basically, it all just came together to remind me that I DO have friends. Lots of them. More than I ever imagined, or even really noticed, sadly. And I guess it was just a balm on my heart, God whispering softly in the back of my mind, "I care about EVERYTHING, no matter how trivial it seems, and I WILL provide the desires of your heart, because I love you more than life itself, and because I am God Almighty, and more than that, Father." I am so blessed to be surrounded by so many people who care about me dearly, who I know would do anything for me, exactly how I'd do anything for them. And yes, I have people who've walked out of my life without looking back, no good byes, no regrets, but in the long run, what is that compared to what I HAVE been given? Do I really want those people THAT badly? And I don't mean that in a callous way, but more of a, if they don't want to stay, why do I want them to? If I care about them, I'll let them go, and I will be grateful for the friends I have. And I will try to never, ever take that for granted.

I guess the bottom line is, sometimes we don't know what we want, or what we're praying for, God does. He knows exactly what is on our hearts every moment of every minute of every hour of ever day, and we don't always have to put words to our prayers. God just knows. And more than that, He is faithful to answer.

xoxo,
Erika Rose <3

P.S. I just want you guys to know that my life is better for having you in it, and that I don't know what I'd do without you. God used you this weekend, probably without your even realizing it, simply by doing the things you do daily. Thanks for being amazing. Thanks for being my friends. :]