Rawr.

I burned my bagel this morning. That's about how last night and this day have gone. So far, which is sad, because it's barely even stated; it's only quarter to ten. I got into a fight with a friend last night and it was STUPID, stupid, stupid, and I'm pretty sure he's all pissed off, which means I'm just feeling terrible. Particularly because I deserve it. It's always one thing for me if somebody is just being pissy, but when I deserve the anger it sucks. So basically I tossed and turned until..well, I don't know when, exactly, but I was still WIDE awake at 1:30 this morning. Got up at 6:30 this morning to come to Glendive for a basketball game that we didn't even play because the other team didn't show. So we scrimmaged instead, and I HATE scrimmaging. So. Anyway. We play again at 11, noon, and three. I'm currently at Book n Bear Nook, where there is free Wi-Fi waiting to go back to the games. I'm running out of pictures to look through, though, and I dunno what I'm gonna do then. Nobody's texting me back, either. Ohhhh well. I go back to the gym in half an hour, so, tootles!

xoxo,
Me <3

It's Been a While

So. It's been a while since I got on here. Obviously the 365 day blog was an epic failure on my part. I suck at following through on stuff like that. Obviously. I always have. In fact, I've never had much self control. But. I'm in a super good, semi-hyper mood right now, and am really tempted to put up ridiculous amounts of status updates on facebook. Soooo I'm taking pity on the facebook population and doing a Blogspot post instead!

I just think that I should start by mentioning that whole "If you like this status I'll pst on your wall what I like about you" thing? Well, it is INTENSELY hard! Not because I don't like the people or anything, but just because it's so hard to nail down ONE thing about them. Like, I just love THEM, I don't love any one thing in particular about them. So. That's been intensely challenging. But then, I've always been up for a good challenge. ;]

And now the Birnel children are here, so I should probably go be a good little babysitter and watch Night ath the Museum.

Seriously, though, I'll try and keep up with this better and get a new post up every couple of days at least. I feel like I've been neglecting the poor Blogspot. It's all sad now. =] Ohh well.

Love you guys!

xoxo,
Me <3

Holding On to Optimism

I am working so hard to hold onto the optimism I was showing during that last post. I'm still feeling kind of overwhelmed. I just need to get caught up on math and it will all be good. I think I have a study date at the Flying J tomorrow. Baha. We'll see..

Both my parents are feeling pretty gross today, so I'm hoping I don't catch whatever they have. I'm feeling pretty good right now, so hopefully I'll be able to hold onto that.

There are 51 days of school left, and 95 until I head to camp in Ekalaka. I am so jazzed. lol. I keep looking forward to the future, though; I'm having issues with the present. I want school to be over. It just feels like I have absolutely no life while I'm in school, and it sucks. I hate it. lol. Now that basketball's over, it's like, there isn't even any draw to school. It just sucks. =S Ohhh well. I'm getting so close to the end. The end of third quarter is this coming Friday, and I think this week will go by fast. Then we're into fourth quarter! Hurray!

So. I guess I will pray and hold onto my optimism, and hopefully my health. Anybody up for praying with me?

xoxo,
Erika Rose

Reminisce (Summer)

Well. I'm pretty proud of myself. I have faithfully kept my 365 Blog so far. Only missed one day, which, considering this is me we're talking about, is doing pretty well! If I do say so myself. lol. Basically, I feel like writing tonight, though, so I wanted to do something a little extra. haha.

I was just looking through Mrs. Pelis's photos (momma to my friends Brian and Danny) and came across some older pictures of Danny Boi. Brought back a whole slew of memories. Haha.

I just read a book by Sarah Dessen called "That Summer" and it's about this fifteen year old girl who can basically trace back all these sudden changes in her life to that one summer. Looking back now, the summer that Brian and Danny were up here was probably one of the greatest summers ever. It was so great to have a whole group of friends right at my fingertips. Like, sure, I've always been part of the school crowd, but I wasn't IN. It was like, that summer I had a gang all my own. Haha. Riding with Danny across the Airdome to Marisa's. Going to the House Bunny with a huge group of people. Heather randomly bursting out with "THAT'S WHERE HE LEARNED IT!" Sarah snitching drinks of Danny's milkshakes. Ha. Sitting up at the camper that last day just chilling out and trying not to roast. Haha. That was a great summer.

And the summer before that, meeting up with Sarah. Countless rides with her and Kali. Falling off Vegas in my English saddle. Falling off Filea bareback. ALMOST falling off Filea bareback when Ethan came out of the grass and spooked her. "FiLEEa!" Haha. Good memories.

It's funny how it seems like the best times of my life have been marked by summers. Horse shows, the trip to Missouri for Ben and Heather's wedding. (was in the springtime, but still) Seems like everything is marked by summers. That is our time, when everything important happens, it seems. All the biggest changes seem to come in the summer, or a little before. Sarah coming. Sarah leaving. Holly's wedding. Seems like all the major turning points are near that one season. Maybe that's why I love spring so much. Not just for the new grass smell and the feeling that everything is coming alive. And the mud. But because I know something new and exciting has to be just around the corner.

It's funny how I've only been alive for fifteen years, but I already have SO many memories crammed into that short amount of time. Good and bad, important and minor. I know life is jam packed with heartache, as it seems I've already discovered, to an extent, but there is so much out there left to discover. I'm not sure why I'm in such a sentimental mood tonight, but I Just have this feeling like the whole world is stretched out before my feet. Sarah and I have decided that so many things are changing, and changing fast, but I've learned that change is inevitable. It will come, whether I want it to or not, and no amount of fear or wishing or hoping or praying will stop that; it's part of life. The best thing we can do is face it head on. And for some reason, I have a feeling that things are changing, and changing FAST, but I'm running out to embrace them.

I've already made tons of memories that well last me forever, but I've only got fifteen candles on the cake, fifteen years' worth of memories; I can't wait to make a lifetime of them. <3

xoxo,
Erika Rose

365

So basically I'm referring you all to my new blog. I may still put stuff up on this one once in a while. I'm not sure yet. I haven't quite decided how I'm going to go about all this. If I have a special thought for the day or whatever, I may put it up here. However, my goal is to put up a post every day for a full year. So, here's the new blog:

Erika's 365!

Hope to see you all there. =D

xoxo

i hate...

I hate when a day is going fantastically and then something happens or you have to go somewhere and it just makes you feel like crap.
I hate when I start to cry over stupid crap during practice.
I hate when I wanna bite someone's head off because it makes me feel like a complete snot.
I hate when I know how to do something but I can't do it right.
I hate when I need my friends and they feel a million miles away.
i hate when I complain.
I hate when I'm in a bad mood.

I hate when I can't explain how I feel.

2010, Here I come.

Some look at the coming chapters in our lives with fear and some with regret
All I know is I don't have time to fret

I'm way too busy running out to meet this tidal wave
Way too ready to take on this change

Whatever it might be, whatever the future brings
Come storms and rainbows, I'm finding my voice and learning to sing

A whole 'nother year is behind me
And what will be will be

And some goodbyes are hard to bear
But there will be other chapters to share

This is not the end
Just a time to see what's around the next bend

A time to grow and find ourselves
A time to put old mistakes on the shelves

We're gonna take on the world
It's me and you girl

My friend, we're putting away all fear
'Cause baby girl, this is gonna be our year

Let's make the most of it.


That is basically exactly how I feel about the coming year. Like, so much is changing, and in some ways, I kind of feel like things are falling down around my ears, but I can't help thinking that it's not a bad thing! Like, it's happening so fast, and I'm losing touch with people I thought would be around forever, but I don't feel horrible about it, because it's like, it's a new chapter in our lives. It's just where our roads are taking us, and it happens to be in separate directions, but it's not anyone's fault. And it's like, a lot of them, I just have this feeling that it's temporary; they still have a role to play in my life. But if they don't, that's okay, too.

And it's like, I don't know why this feels like such a fresh year, but I am SO ready to take it on! Like, I know it's gonna be hard, and some of it is scary. And I'm with my best friend that it feels kind of like a tidal wave coming down over my head, and it is scary, but it's gonna be such a rush, too! So much fun! I'm in this moment right before it hits and you're holding your breath and just waiting...It's a good feeling.

So 2010, here I come! Bring it on!