I find it extremely vexing how many kids either loathe their parents or can't stand living with them. This whole experience with Dickinson has shown me how FEW kids actually LIKE their parents. I'm finding that I'm one of a pretty small group who actually sincerely loves my parents. I would give anything to live at home again. Well. Not anything, obviously, because it wouldn't be that hard to just drop school in Dickinson and go, but you get what I'm saying.
At any rate, a LOT of the people I talk to don't get along with their parents, can't stand them, and can't wait to move out. And in MOST cases, I honestly don't blame the kid in the slightest. And personally, I think it's a travesty!! WHAT IS HAPPENING WITH AMERICA'S PARENTS?! And I think more than that, with the FAMILY UNIT. I think this is something that's become so lost.
I feel like parents make NO effort to bond with their kids. No effort to really be part of their life. They don't even sit down to dinner anymore. And granted, we didn't ALWAYS have dinner together,we did pretty regularly, especially when I was little and Holly and Derek were still in the house. And even now, when I'm home, we always go out at least once a week. Usually on Sundays, we'd go have lunch after church.
I just feel the family unit is something that's being lost. People are so rarely a FAMILY anymore. There is no bonding, no family ties, no family loyalty. And I think it's sad. And I wish that every kid could have with their parents what I do with mine.
So. Those are the thoughts.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Friends
So, I have come to the conclusion that I have some awfully amazing friends. And I'm realizing more and more that truly, it's not how long you've known your friends. That's truly of little importance. It's like that saying: "It's not who's been friends with you the longest, it's who's been there for you the most." My best friends, the people I count on, are people I really haven't known that long at all. One of them, not even six months. But sometimes people just click, and they sort of become instant best friends. It's not necessarily that they've proven themselves, you just KNOW they'd be there for you. That's where I'm at.
I have so many memories packed into this last school year with my new friends. Just crazyness, amazing memories. I guess I'm just so thankful for the people I have in my life right now. Thanks you guys, for being amazing. :)
xoxo,
Erika Rose
I have so many memories packed into this last school year with my new friends. Just crazyness, amazing memories. I guess I'm just so thankful for the people I have in my life right now. Thanks you guys, for being amazing. :)
xoxo,
Erika Rose
Friday, January 14, 2011
Faith. Focus. Finish.
Rodeo is a pretty religious sport, as sports go. A lot of the people you see in rodeo, even at a professional level, you see a lot of guys (and gals, of course) who really seem to have their heads on straight and their ducks in a row.
Shane Hanchey, who's a tie down roper who made his first win at a Wrangler NFR in 2010 (the very end, so like, last month) has on his Twitter "Faith Focus Finish." (P.S., yes, I AM a Twitter nerd. hehe)
I feel that's a really simple way to sum up life as a Christian.
We strengthen our faith. My "theme" verse, I guess you'd call it, is Hebrews 10:23 -- "Let us hold fast to the confession of our hope, without wavering, for He who promised is faithful." It's telling us to hold onto our faith, (and I love the promise, too, that God himself is faithful.) But I think first and foremost in life, we have to have the saving faith, faith in salvation. Then we have to focus, and keep our focus. Focus on God, focus on faith, focus on testimony. Persevere, would be another word. If we have the faith, and if we have the focus on our faith, then we're going to finish, and more than that, finish STRONG. I think that's important. Finishing strong.
So, I guess let me leave you with this verse:
Shane Hanchey, who's a tie down roper who made his first win at a Wrangler NFR in 2010 (the very end, so like, last month) has on his Twitter "Faith Focus Finish." (P.S., yes, I AM a Twitter nerd. hehe)
I feel that's a really simple way to sum up life as a Christian.
We strengthen our faith. My "theme" verse, I guess you'd call it, is Hebrews 10:23 -- "Let us hold fast to the confession of our hope, without wavering, for He who promised is faithful." It's telling us to hold onto our faith, (and I love the promise, too, that God himself is faithful.) But I think first and foremost in life, we have to have the saving faith, faith in salvation. Then we have to focus, and keep our focus. Focus on God, focus on faith, focus on testimony. Persevere, would be another word. If we have the faith, and if we have the focus on our faith, then we're going to finish, and more than that, finish STRONG. I think that's important. Finishing strong.
So, I guess let me leave you with this verse:
Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God."-- Hebrews 12:1&2 (New American Standard)
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Opportunity
Today, I was thinking back to when I first came to Dickson and how excited I was about all the possibilities and opportunities. And how, as time has gone by, I've sort of lost that drive and excitement for life as the "new" becomes the "old." But I've been realizing, every day is new, and it ought to be exciting.
When I came to Dickinson, I just felt the year was so full of promise, and excitement. I couldn't wait to see what it had in store for me. And as the new has just become the norm, I've lost that. But really, every day is new, new possibilities, new opportunities, and I'm wondering why I don't wake up excited and on fire for that? Every day should be exciting! Every day is new, God-breathed, God-given. And it holds every bit as much promise for change and opportunity as the year did when it was new.
And so I guess my challenge is, look at every day the way we tend to look at the new year, as filled with hope and opportunity for change, for growth, for newness. Just be excited about life! Who knows what today is gonna bring.
xoxo,
Erika Rose <3
When I came to Dickinson, I just felt the year was so full of promise, and excitement. I couldn't wait to see what it had in store for me. And as the new has just become the norm, I've lost that. But really, every day is new, new possibilities, new opportunities, and I'm wondering why I don't wake up excited and on fire for that? Every day should be exciting! Every day is new, God-breathed, God-given. And it holds every bit as much promise for change and opportunity as the year did when it was new.
And so I guess my challenge is, look at every day the way we tend to look at the new year, as filled with hope and opportunity for change, for growth, for newness. Just be excited about life! Who knows what today is gonna bring.
xoxo,
Erika Rose <3
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Impact
So, the thoughts for tonight are impact. I just got done watching To Save a Life. If you haven't seen that movie, go watch it. Seriously, it's AMAZING, one of my all-time favorites. I absolutely love it. And it leads me to think about impact. We had talked about this in youth group as well, whether we, as Christians, are making an impact on the world, and for me, personally, am I making an impact?
Am I leading my friends astray, or helping them stick to the straight and narrow? Am I there for them, or do I let them down? Am I impacting their lives? And more than that, am I impacting them in a positive way? I think oftentimes we can have tremendous impact, more than we know, and perhaps we need to be less worried with whether we're making an impact at all (Because I think we're ALL impacting in some form or another) and think more about the impact we ARE making, and whether or not it's positive.
If we all have an impact, if we all affect people somehow, are we having a positive effect or a negative one? I think that is the million dollar question.
xoxo,
Erika Rose <3
Am I leading my friends astray, or helping them stick to the straight and narrow? Am I there for them, or do I let them down? Am I impacting their lives? And more than that, am I impacting them in a positive way? I think oftentimes we can have tremendous impact, more than we know, and perhaps we need to be less worried with whether we're making an impact at all (Because I think we're ALL impacting in some form or another) and think more about the impact we ARE making, and whether or not it's positive.
If we all have an impact, if we all affect people somehow, are we having a positive effect or a negative one? I think that is the million dollar question.
xoxo,
Erika Rose <3
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Relentless Pursuit
The thoughts on my heart tonight are this:
How lucky are we to be pursued by a Relentless Lover? Now, I know the image that comes to mind is probably somebody flying down a creepy, dark path, with some great shadowy figure in hot "pursuit," but that's NOT the image I'm thinking of. The image I'm thinking of is that of God, being likened to the Bride-Groom of the church. And He does pursue us relentlessly in this: No matter how times we mess up, God is ALWAYS there to forgive us. Always. It doesn't matter what we do, if you are a child of God, we have an unlimited number of second chances. His mercies truly ARE new every morning. How amazing is that? That no matter what we did the day before, we wake up in the morning with a clean slate, a blank page, a fresh start. God has forgiven and forgotten, and we get another chance to try and get it right, although of course, we'll never get it a hundred percent. And no matter HOW many times we fall, God is still there to pick us up.
I feel like that's a pretty great analogy: We're learning to walk, and well, we've all watched little kids try and learn to walk. They toddle around, take a few tentative steps, and usually end up falling onto their butt! Maybe they cry a little, maybe they sit a while, but then they get back up and start the process all over. And, as we grow older, we get better at walking, but sometimes, we still turf it. Sometimes we even biff it HARD, like, nose dive, face plant hard. How many times do we slip on a patch of ice, or trip over a rock, or step on our own shoe-laces. Or even just fall over the invisible lines? (I hope I'm not the only clutz who does this!) And it doesn't matter how many times we fall. It's not like we ever say to ourselves "Oh no, I fell down. Maybe I shouldn't get up. What if I fall again?!" We don't usually think much of it, we just get on up and keep walking, as if it never happened. But how many times, in the course of our lives, do we fall hard, spiritually, or emotionally, and have the desire to just not get back up again? We think "I'll only fall again, so why bother trying?" Why do we think this? It's never the thought that comes when we fall physically. It's just an undeniable part of life; it happens to the best of us. Maybe that needs to be more our attitude when we fall down in life. And here's another thought that I find rather inspiring. God always believes in us. God is always there whispering "Get back up. Try again. You can do it! I have faith in you!" Even when we can't hear it, He IS there.
And as I mentioned before, sometimes we we trip over things. Like the patch of ice you didn't know was there, or the rock that magically appears in your path. In life, how many of these are put there by Satan, just TRYING to trip us up? How often does he plant things in our path, just to test us? And how often, when we start to slip, do we reach for God, the way you reach toward a friend trying to keep your balance? Or do we more often just allow ourselves to fall, rather than deign to reach out to the One who can help us? Or sometimes, we trip over our shoe laces. How often do we leave loose ends hanging out for us to trip over later? How often do we procrastinate, put something off and put it off and put it off, until eventually we fall over it? Or do we allow things in our life that eventually trip us up? Or do we leave something out, forget to clean it up, that eventually ends up as an obstruction in our path? Where is your weakness? Where's that loose end that you don't tie up? Is it what flashes across your computer screen late at night when no one else is up? Or in the pages of the books you read? Or even in the words that come from the one un-tamable beast: what slips off your tongue? Or sometimes, we just fall, and there's no apparent reason. I thin, spiritually especially, this happens more often than maybe anything else. We're going along just fine, things are dandy, and then randomly, out of the blue, we just trip and SMACK, flat on our faces. We trip over our own feet, get in our own way, or fall for no apparent reason. It happens spiritually, too. We just hit a slump, and don't do the things we should.
Here's my last analogy: Sometimes we fall playing sports. Imagine a basketball or a football game. Intense, right? You're fighting for something! You want to WIN!! How often do we fight with something, battle? Sometimes, we fall doing battle for God. Our heart is in the right place, we're doing everything we should, you're playing your heart out, giving it all the guts you've got. And at the end, the score-board still shows the undeniable loss. Sometimes it happens, regardless of how hard we try. But the players, instead of getting frustrated (although they do) they don't quit. They just determine to do better next time! That needs to be our attitude. But. On the flip side, how often do we do battle with God? We have that pet sin that we just can't quite take that's "Not really that bad" or maybe you're one of those in the battle for your soul: God is trying to woo you, and you're fighting with everything you have, and you just end up falling flat on your face.
And so it comes full circle, because once again, can't we be thankful that we are pursued by the Relentless Lover? Now matter how often we fall, or mess up, God is ALWAYS there to pick us back up, set us on our feet, give us another shot. And for those of you out there who DON'T know Christ as your Savior, I believe He's pursuing you, too. He pursued you all the way to the cross. Can you imagine the kind of love that must take, to lay down your life for someone who doesn't even like you? Who even despises you, for we are told that we have despised God. THAT is the picture of the Relentless Lover. He pursues you without tiring, without ever giving up hope until the moment you take your last breath, because He pursued you all the way to the cross, just as He pursued me all the way to the cross, and as He even now pursues me, guiding me along this crazy path called life, and waiting patiently for me to return when I stray away, whispering, calling my name, urging me to come back to the path that's right...THAT, dear ones, is the picture of God's Relentless Pursuit.
xoxo,
Erika Rose
How lucky are we to be pursued by a Relentless Lover? Now, I know the image that comes to mind is probably somebody flying down a creepy, dark path, with some great shadowy figure in hot "pursuit," but that's NOT the image I'm thinking of. The image I'm thinking of is that of God, being likened to the Bride-Groom of the church. And He does pursue us relentlessly in this: No matter how times we mess up, God is ALWAYS there to forgive us. Always. It doesn't matter what we do, if you are a child of God, we have an unlimited number of second chances. His mercies truly ARE new every morning. How amazing is that? That no matter what we did the day before, we wake up in the morning with a clean slate, a blank page, a fresh start. God has forgiven and forgotten, and we get another chance to try and get it right, although of course, we'll never get it a hundred percent. And no matter HOW many times we fall, God is still there to pick us up.
I feel like that's a pretty great analogy: We're learning to walk, and well, we've all watched little kids try and learn to walk. They toddle around, take a few tentative steps, and usually end up falling onto their butt! Maybe they cry a little, maybe they sit a while, but then they get back up and start the process all over. And, as we grow older, we get better at walking, but sometimes, we still turf it. Sometimes we even biff it HARD, like, nose dive, face plant hard. How many times do we slip on a patch of ice, or trip over a rock, or step on our own shoe-laces. Or even just fall over the invisible lines? (I hope I'm not the only clutz who does this!) And it doesn't matter how many times we fall. It's not like we ever say to ourselves "Oh no, I fell down. Maybe I shouldn't get up. What if I fall again?!" We don't usually think much of it, we just get on up and keep walking, as if it never happened. But how many times, in the course of our lives, do we fall hard, spiritually, or emotionally, and have the desire to just not get back up again? We think "I'll only fall again, so why bother trying?" Why do we think this? It's never the thought that comes when we fall physically. It's just an undeniable part of life; it happens to the best of us. Maybe that needs to be more our attitude when we fall down in life. And here's another thought that I find rather inspiring. God always believes in us. God is always there whispering "Get back up. Try again. You can do it! I have faith in you!" Even when we can't hear it, He IS there.
And as I mentioned before, sometimes we we trip over things. Like the patch of ice you didn't know was there, or the rock that magically appears in your path. In life, how many of these are put there by Satan, just TRYING to trip us up? How often does he plant things in our path, just to test us? And how often, when we start to slip, do we reach for God, the way you reach toward a friend trying to keep your balance? Or do we more often just allow ourselves to fall, rather than deign to reach out to the One who can help us? Or sometimes, we trip over our shoe laces. How often do we leave loose ends hanging out for us to trip over later? How often do we procrastinate, put something off and put it off and put it off, until eventually we fall over it? Or do we allow things in our life that eventually trip us up? Or do we leave something out, forget to clean it up, that eventually ends up as an obstruction in our path? Where is your weakness? Where's that loose end that you don't tie up? Is it what flashes across your computer screen late at night when no one else is up? Or in the pages of the books you read? Or even in the words that come from the one un-tamable beast: what slips off your tongue? Or sometimes, we just fall, and there's no apparent reason. I thin, spiritually especially, this happens more often than maybe anything else. We're going along just fine, things are dandy, and then randomly, out of the blue, we just trip and SMACK, flat on our faces. We trip over our own feet, get in our own way, or fall for no apparent reason. It happens spiritually, too. We just hit a slump, and don't do the things we should.
Here's my last analogy: Sometimes we fall playing sports. Imagine a basketball or a football game. Intense, right? You're fighting for something! You want to WIN!! How often do we fight with something, battle? Sometimes, we fall doing battle for God. Our heart is in the right place, we're doing everything we should, you're playing your heart out, giving it all the guts you've got. And at the end, the score-board still shows the undeniable loss. Sometimes it happens, regardless of how hard we try. But the players, instead of getting frustrated (although they do) they don't quit. They just determine to do better next time! That needs to be our attitude. But. On the flip side, how often do we do battle with God? We have that pet sin that we just can't quite take that's "Not really that bad" or maybe you're one of those in the battle for your soul: God is trying to woo you, and you're fighting with everything you have, and you just end up falling flat on your face.
And so it comes full circle, because once again, can't we be thankful that we are pursued by the Relentless Lover? Now matter how often we fall, or mess up, God is ALWAYS there to pick us back up, set us on our feet, give us another shot. And for those of you out there who DON'T know Christ as your Savior, I believe He's pursuing you, too. He pursued you all the way to the cross. Can you imagine the kind of love that must take, to lay down your life for someone who doesn't even like you? Who even despises you, for we are told that we have despised God. THAT is the picture of the Relentless Lover. He pursues you without tiring, without ever giving up hope until the moment you take your last breath, because He pursued you all the way to the cross, just as He pursued me all the way to the cross, and as He even now pursues me, guiding me along this crazy path called life, and waiting patiently for me to return when I stray away, whispering, calling my name, urging me to come back to the path that's right...THAT, dear ones, is the picture of God's Relentless Pursuit.
xoxo,
Erika Rose
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Here's My Life...
I found it a little harder to come back to Dickinson tonight. This song has been my anthem for a while, and I listened to it repeatedly on the (rather scary) drive home. Tonight, I wanted nothing more than to stay curled up in the recliner and watch a movie, or maybe play some board games with my parents. Anything except come back. I think the long break did it--so much time at home just sort of reminded me what I'm missing.
Dickinson isn't bad. I do love it here. It has become "home," of sorts, but ultimately, home is where your heart is, and I think my heart is definitely in Wibaux. I'm just dreading going back to school tomorrow. I'm not ready. I wish we had another week.
But I'm trying really hard not to complain, because I know I have been so blessed. And ultimately, that song is more than just an anthem, it's become a prayer. A reminder that I have given GOD my life, a reminder that He is the comforter, and that He has brought me to this place, and He will lead me through, as well. I have no choice but to obey His call on my life, and I will, with a glad heart, because THIS is where He wants me. THIS is where He has led me, and I refuse to start the year of 2011 by looking down, or back, or even ahead. I will live in the now, cherish every moment. I found a quote that's pretty applicable: "People are unhappy because they always think the past is better than it was, the present as worse than it is, and the future better than it will be." That's where I'm at. The present really isn't that bad. The past wasn't that great. And I'm probably building the future up and I'm only going to be disappointed. Which is why I need to sit back and just give God my heart, truly and completely. I hold onto my sadness and my fear instead of truly giving it back to God, and being content with where He has put me. And so that song becomes a constant prayer. "So once more, here's my life."
I think it's something that has to happen daily, giving our lives back to God, surrendering again. I think maybe it needs to be the first thing we do, before we even roll out of bed. Just whisper a quiet "Okay, God, this day is yours. My life is yours. Help me surrender." Perhaps that's a good New Years resolution. Regardless, I refuse to let life get me down--I will cling to God and know that He WILL see me through, just as He has every time in the past.
In other news, my friend that I've talked about so much, went through a phase where he decided to stop partying, but he's right back into it. I was talking to him at 4 a.m. (I was living up my last night of freedom before school, thus the late night) and he was just high as a kite, and I could just feel my heart literally breaking. I lay awake for a long while after I told him good night, agonizing, praying like I've never prayed before, and when I woke up this morning, it was the first thing on my mind, and it's been on my heart all day. Even when I was distracted by this whole coming back home business, it was in the back of my mind. Something HAS to change. NOW. I don't know why, but I just have this feeling that if he doesn't get his act together SOON, he's going to end up dead or in prison. It's time to take action. I have a whole little speech written out in my head, but I doubt it will go the way I want it to be, because things never do. And even so, I have to actually be able to TALK to him first. I haven't heard from him all day, which doesn't help the worry. I've just been praying furiously, and I ask you to join me in prayer. Keep him safe. Give me the words to say. Let him HEAR what I'm trying to tell him, what GOD is trying to tell him.
xoxo,
Erika Rose
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)